Frequently Asked Questions
How do I choose a funeral director?
Because there is no legislation governing the funeral profession anyone can set up as a funeral director, so it pays to be careful when making your choice.
You can depend on the integrity of an FDANZ funeral director like Pellows or the other members of the Bledisloe Group (check our other locations). As members of FDANZ, Pellows Funeral Directors and Advisors and the other funeral firms in the Bledisloe Group are committed to provide a thoroughly professional and high quality service by funeral directors who have been or are being trained in attaining these high standards.
Feel free to ask others and check our credentials.
What should I do when a family member has died?
This depends on where they died and the manner of death, but in general when the death happens, all you need to do is call us for advice and assistance. The phone will be answered by a Pellows team member, and they will ask a few questions to establish who has died, where they have died and talk to you about the next step.
If the death is unexpected it is possible that the police and coroner would be involved. A funeral director contracted to the police would transfer the body to the Coroner's mortuary. The family then need to engage a funeral director of their choice. You funeral director of choice would then liaise with the relevant authorities on your behalf.
Why is a coroner involved?
Usually, the coroner is involved in a sudden or unexpected death, an accidental death, or if a doctor is unavailable or unable to establish the cause of death. When the coroner is called in, s/he must establish a cause of death, which may mean the examination of the body by a pathologist – called a post mortem or autopsy. After this, the coroner may decide to hold an inquest – a formal hearing in a court of law. This will be some months after the funeral. However funeral arrangements can proceed straightaway as normal.
What about ACC after a death by accident?
The cause of death must be established before the Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC) is able to pay compensation to the dependents of accident victims and make a contribution to funeral expenses. If an inquest is not held after the cause of death is established, ACC payments can be made immediately.
How much does a funeral cost?
This depends entirely on your choice of casket and additional items such as flowers, newspaper notices, cemetery or cremation fees and catering. These form part of the account and obviously vary according to the choices made.
The funeral firm will also charge for its services – for making all the arrangements, use of hearses and other cars, and other services provided.
Please talk to us at Pellows Funeral Directors and Advisors so we can provide a service to suit both your needs and your financial circumstances.
If you have any financial worries, let us know as soon as possible. There are agencies we can help you approach, such as Work and Income, where a funeral grant may be available, depending on your level of assets and income. If the death was caused by an accident, ACC may be able to help.
Other entitlements are available for ex-service personnel and their families.
Always ensure you receive a written estimate for the funeral costs in advance.
How can I pay if the estate is still tied up?
When a death occurs, bank accounts in the name of the deceased are frozen and in some cases cannot be accessed until after probate is granted. To ensure ongoing access by a partner, it is better for the bank accounts to be in joint names.
Where there are sufficient funds in a bank account, it is possible to present the funeral invoice and Death Certificate to the bank and ask them to pay the account - this is irrespective of probate.
When settlement of an estate is delayed by lack of probate, families should pay the funeral account by the due date and recover the funds from the estate when it is settled.
Most funeral firms send the account directly to the family and, if required, will send a copy to the solicitor.
The person making the arrangements with the funeral director remains responsible for paying the account.
How do I choose a casket?
Pellows Funeral Directors and Advisors have a comprehensive range of caskets which presented to the family in a photograph album. Sometimes, families also wish to come in and see some caskets before they make their choice. Caskets come in different finishes, including solid wood and veneered customboard.
Caskets can also be painted in your choice of colour or colours, although we normally required 48 hours notice for this.
Choices can depend on what you can afford, what appeals, and what you regard as a fitting tribute to the deceased.
Burial or cremation?
If the deceased has made their wishes known, they are usually followed. If not, it is up to the family to choose. Whatever your choice, Pellows Funeral Directors and Advisors will take care of the arrangements for you.
In New Zealand, there are four options available: burial, cremation, burial at sea.
Burial, in the past, was the most common choice and is still favoured by many. It provides a family with a focal point, a grave to go to where they remember the person who has died. Burial involves buying a burial plot, paying an interment fee which covers the cost of digging the grave and maintaining it, and usually buying a memorial or headstone. In almost all cases, the places people can be buried are limited by law to official cemeteries or Maori burial grounds.
Cremation provides greater flexibility when choosing a final resting place because there is no restriction to specific places of burial. Ashes can be buried in a cemetery or special memorial area, or they can be scattered somewhere the family or deceased felt appropriate, such as in a garden, at sea, or in a favourite place. Some people split the ashes between different places. A memorial or plaque is often chosen to provide the focal point for the family.
The process of cremation involves putting the casket with the body inside into a cremator – a large metal box with room for only one casket. Cremation occurs at very high temperatures over two to four hours. The ashes are removed in entirety from the cremator and put in a container, usually made of plastic, about 30cm long and 15cm deep.
Pellows have a range of urns suitable for holding ashes.
Burial at sea requires a special casket, which we can also provide. There are specially designated areas off the New Zealand coastline for burial at sea, which we can show you and help you with the arrangements.
If you are interested in the option of organ donation of leaving your body for medical science, you need to make the arrangements prior to death. Pellows Funeral Directors and Advisors can provide information about both these options.
Is embalming necessary?
The function of embalming is to ensure preservation, presentation and sanitation during the funeral period. It can also ensure a more natural appearance of the deceased.
Sometimes, if the funeral is delayed for some reason, or if the deceased has to be transferred to another city or country, embalming is necessary. Other times, it is optional and Pellows’ experienced funeral directors can help you make the choice right for you.
Embalming is a skilled process and should only be performed by trained practitioners who are members of the FDANZ and/or the NZ Embalmers Association.
Can I design my own funeral ceremony?
Of course. These days, people are increasingly wanting to make the funeral a special celebration of someone’s life, and the ceremony or service is becoming much more personalised and individual.
At Pellows, our funeral directors have been involved in guiding families through numerous personal remembrances where people want to do things differently, with special meaning to the person who has died or the family and friends remaining.
For example, in the days after death leading up to the funeral, family members are increasingly choosing to have the body at home or on the marae. This is popular with both Maori and Pacific Island families, as well as with New Zealanders of all ethnicities who find great comfort in this tradition.
If family and friends are coming from overseas embalming would be recommended.
The funeral ceremony is important for family and friends to share their sorrow, as well as an opportunity to celebrate the life of the person who has died – to remember the good times, the funny moments, favourite music, their unique contributions, and to hear tributes and stories from people of all ages. It is good to make opportunities for children to be involved too, if they have been part of the person’s life.
Some of the important elements in designing a funeral service are:
Movement – how the casket is brought in and taken out; who will carry it; and whether you want special music, movement, dancing or a guard of honour.
Symbols – things that carry meaning and demonstrate what was important to the person who has died, such as flowers from their garden, books and poems, candles, shells, photographs, videos.
Music – what music they liked most. This can vary from classical to rock, country to opera, hymns to pop music.
Venue – Pellows have many venues available for funeral services, including the Hamilton Park Chapel, churches, sports halls and the Hamilton Gardens pavilion. Funerals can also be held at private homes and gardens. We can advise you on all the options and venues available.
Should children attend the funeral?
Dealing with the death of someone close is difficult at any age. Children and teenagers grieve too, though they may express it differently.
The choice of whether to attend the funeral should be left up to the child. However, in general, children appreciate it later on if they have been involved, even in some small way because it helps them to feel they are sharing their grief and honouring the person who has died. Just being there can help them understand, even if it takes time, what has happened and what it means.
In the same way, it can help for young people to spend time with the person who has died, though generally they should be accompanied by a family member who is comfortable with their role and who can guide the child through the viewing and answer their questions. It is important to talk to them about the loss and encourage them to express their feelings.
Children often like to draw a picture or write a letter or poem to put in the casket when they spend time with someone who has died.
Talk to your Pellows funeral director about any concerns or questions you have regarding children and their grief – you will find their knowledge and experience helpful to you.
Should we see the body?
Many people who are hesitant at first later say how much they were helped in the grieving process by spending some time with the body of the deceased before the funeral.
When we ask you if you would like to ‘view’ or ‘spend time with the deceased’, remember that it can help you accept their death, especially if it has been sudden or unexpected, and can help you through the grieving process.
Pellows Funeral Directors and Advisors offer private and comfortable viewing facilities for you and your family to say goodbye to the deceased. Alternatively, we can easily arrange for their casket to be taken to your home in the days before the funeral ceremony.